Honestly, You Still Look 29 From a Distance – Funny Birthday Candle

Because age is just a number… and we are not talking about it 💅

This 9oz soy candle is the perfect “I love you, but I’m still going to roast you” gift for birthdays, girls’ nights, or anytime your favorite person needs a laugh and a little glow.

Light it up, snap the pic, and let the scent (and denial) fill the room.

Why it’s a great gift

• Burns 50–60 hours – long enough to get through birthday week

• 9oz glass jar, the ideal size for desks, vanities, or nightstands

• 100% natural soy wax blend for a clean, slow burn

• 100% cotton wick – no harsh stuff, just cozy vibes

• Chic printed label that looks good even when the candle is not lit

• Assembled in the USA, compliant with ASTM safety standards

Details

• Material, natural soy wax blend

• Wick, 100% cotton

• Jar, clear glass with glossy label

• Size, 2.8 × 3.5 in (7.1 × 8.9 cm)

• All scents share the same creamy wax color

Choose your scent

• 🍎 Apple Harvest – crisp, cozy orchard vibes

• 🌊 Atlantis Whisper – light, ocean-fresh and airy

• 🎄 Christmas Warmth – classic holiday spice and comfort

• 🍂 Cinnamon Vanilla – sweet, warm, and a little nostalgic

• 🥥 Coconut Cream + Cardamom – soft tropical with a gentle spice

• 🧺 Clean Cotton – fresh laundry, no folding required

• 🍑 Peppered Passionfruit – fruity with a playful kick

• 🌿 Sea Salt + Orchid – spa-day calm in a jar

• 🤍 Unscented – all the aesthetic, none of the fragrance

• 💜 White Sage & Lavender – earthy, calming, Sunday-reset energy

Ready to gift straight out of the box, this candle says,

“Honestly, you still look 29… at least from a distance.”